Toilet paper is now a more precious commodity than gold—or at least, that’s how I felt when a friend of mine reported that she was offered $40 the other day for a single roll (one roll!!!) upon leaving the sold-out supermarket.
Assuming you have a pretty decent stash at home, the website “How much toilet paper” is going to be your new best friend over the coming weeks and months. As you hunker down during all things coronavirus, the site will help you get a quick estimate of how much your stash will last.
Of course, there are plenty of variables at play, here. First and foremost are the aforementioned bathroom habits; if you act like you’re trying to take the finish off a table with sandpaper, you’re probably burning through number of extra (and unnecessary) rolls. You’ll definitely want to click on the site’s “Advanced Options” to increase your “average number of wipes per trip” and get a more accurate result (you savage).
That’s also important for managing all the crazy configurations of rolls you can buy. The mega and ultra and super-mega and gargantua rolls usually say on the packaging what they’re equivalent in “normal rolls” happens to be, so make sure you adjust accordingly. And while none of us know how long our various quarantines will last, you can at least put in a decent estimate—30 days?—to see, percent-wise, how long your stash might last.
Is this website silly? You bet. Do you probably have a good idea of how long your TP might last? Sure. But since you probably have a lot of time to kill while you work from home—and I have seen friends get meticulous about tracking every bit of food and possibly sold-out supplies in their house—why not spend a little time with the world’s most precise calculator of toilet paper?
My advice? Screenshot your advanced options, then you don’t have to recalculate them when you revisit the site, which resets to defaults upon each load. That way, you can knock off your roll count without having to waste even more time thinking about how much you deal with your butt each day.
